What's Not OK

Sometimes there can be a lot of gray area when it comes to sex. Everyone has different boundaries; they can change depending on the person or situation. But some things are just NOT OK.

What does “not OK” mean? Well, it depends. Some people may be offended by certain jokes, behaviors, or words, while others may not. Talking to a trusted adult can help you figure out what you are comfortable with in a relationship and how to communicate that to your partner.

Certain things, however, are just plain off limits. Anything that results in someone being physically or emotionally hurt is definitely NOT OK.  If you experience anything in a relationship that does not feel right, don’t keep it to yourself. Talk to your trusted adult.


Unwanted touching Ask for consent before all physical and/or sexual encounters
Ignoring or silencing Listen and try to understand your partner’s perspective
Feeling uncomfortable Discuss your fears and concerns with your partner
Lying Be honest with your partner and yourself
Breaking trust Get consent before sharing your partner’s personal information
Threatening Respect your partner’s boundaries, personal space, and privacy


Want to check your knowledge on what’s cool in a relationship? Take the CoolNotCool interactive quiz.

To learn more about consent, check out the video below from Planned Parenthood: